COMMUNICATING YOUR DREAM AS A WAY OF LIVING
                                                                By Marcia Wieder
 

                                                                        The difference between the right word
                                                                        and the almost right word
                                                                        is the differ­ence between
                                                                        lightning and the lightn­ing bug.
                                                                                                            Mark Twain
 

            Do you harbor the old belief that you have to do everything yourself?  Perhaps it’s that old John Wayne-type, indi­vidualistic, Ameri­can frontier attitude.  If you feel that standing on your own two feet means never accepting help from anyone, it’s important to acknowledge the tendency.  Of course, you can “go it alone” if you insist, but it’s a longer, harder process.
            In fact, I caution you not to take on every­thing by your­self.  You want to simplify the jour­ney to having your dream, not complicate it.  If you’re part of a winning team, you can accel­erat­e prog­ress and expand your horizons–in short, it’s easier and faster to do it with other people.
            When I speak of a winning team, I don’t necessarily mean a club or a group of people that meets with regularity.  A formal group has potential for some people and not for others.  Rather, I think of a winning team as a resource group, people to whom you can turn when you need advice, when you need a sounding board, when you need to unravel a thorny problem, or when you just need someone to listen.
            Although we all have a tendency not to bother oth­ers or to recruit assistance, the Magic that hap­pens whenever two or more are gathered is uncanny.  I personally believe you’re only two phone calls away from anyone in the world that you need to contact.  Use this knowledge to your advan­tage.
            Letting others help you is a form of true generosity, because you enable them to feel good about contributing to your suc­cess.  Many people love to make a difference by helping others.  Allow people to assist you most effectively by learn­ing how to make powerful requests.  Assemble a winning team by getting clear about what you need, making a list of the skills you need on your winning team, finding individuals who have them, and enrolling them by asking for what you want.
            To accelerate toward your dream, you will want to continue communicating effectively with your team, and with others as well.  The members of your team need to hear you speak your dream, or they won’t know how they can help you.  You might feel a little awkward at first, but the more you articulate your dream, the more powerful you’ll become.  Like anything else, it requires practice.
            In today’s world, people are inundated by enormous amounts of informa­tion competing for their attention.  For exam­ple, in 1968, the portion of a statement or speech used for television news, called a “soundbite,” ran an average of 42 sec­onds.  By 1988, soundbites were down to 9.8 seconds.
            In other words, you have less than ten seconds to speak your dream; that’s about how much time you have for someone to understand what you’re trying to do.  If you want to break through the infor­mation din, prac­tice saying what you want to say, and see if you can get it across clearly and com­fortably in ten seconds.  The ten-second exercise may surprise you.  In fact, you can complete three sentences within that amount of time.  For exam­ple, the words you are reading in this paragraph can be said in about ten seconds.
            Write your dream or your project in 25 words or less on a piece of paper.  Write it, prac­tice speaking it aloud, and then practice by speaking it to other people.  If others don’t under­stand your message immediately, revise it until they do.  Here are some examples of brief, distinct descriptions:
–         I intend to contact and speak with 100 people about the possi­bili­ties of rain forest preservation, and to create a televi­sion series about it.
 

–         I’m going to hold a one-day semi­nar for children of divorced par­ents.
 

–         I will make available to all employees in the Wash­ing­ton, D.C.-area an effec­tive program for retirement savings.
 

–         I expect to invent the best rela­tionship with a woman that I can have.
            The expression of what you want can be simple or it can be sophisticated.  Base your decision on the nature of the dream you’re committed to creating.  Mine is to have people speak about dreams in a new way, to believe that dreams are something they can have come true in their lifetime.  What’s yours?
 

Who’s Listening?
            When you tell people what your dream is, you will want to know whether they’ve heard you.  Look into their eyes; are they confused or upset about what you’re saying?  Are they excited and “with you”?  Do they under­stand?  If you’re not sure, stop and ask them what they think.  If they’re not excited about your dream, it doesn’t mean that you did something wrong; it just may not be the right dream for them.  Perhaps they can still be your friends or business associ­ates, but not people you want on your winning team.
            Notice who’s listening and how they’re listen­ing, and train them to hear what you’re saying in a way that’s powerful.  Remember that, when you started to go for your dream, you had a variety of negative attitudes, beliefs, concerns and fears; others might also harbor atti­tudes that are limiting.  People who care about you may feel especially convinced that you’re going in the wrong direction, taking too much risk, or putting yourself in an unstable situation by breaking out of the norm.
            Train people to listen to you.  Explain what the word possibility means, and ask them to hear what’s possible for you.  Request that they suspend their automatic negative reactions and judgments, and that they hear your dream from your perspec­tive.
            You don’t necessarily have to convince people to see things your way to receive their support.  It may take them awhile before they’re comfortable about accepting your dream.  In the meantime, commit yourself to the possibility of getting their support in exactly the way you’ve asked for it.  Believe that you can have that kind of a relationship, and just keep speaking your dream.
            If you think it will overwhelm people, you may not want to speak your entire dream in one sitting.  You can do it in stages; just keep living and speaking what you want, and sharing it with others so they can experience what’s going on for you.  Eventu­ally most people will reach the stage at which, whether times are good or bad, you can share your dream completely.
            Maybe everyone won’t reach such a stage.  At some point you may decide that a particular person just won’t fit on your win­ning team.  That happens sometimes, and it’s good to know when you have enough information to make that decision.  However, I encourage you not to write people off at the beginning if they don’t align with your dream.  Request that they react as you would like, and give them a chance to do so.
            Part of the communica­tions process involves dancing the dance of interaction.  Trust, let the conversation flow, and listen to what is being said.  Something new might show up: perhaps they know of a new resource; maybe they will suggest a new way for you to look at some­thing.  Don’t be rigidly attached to what is already in your mind.  In speaking your dream, new opportu­nities will show up, and Magic will occur.  Remember that every dream starts with an idea and grows proportionately to the amount of energy, excitement and commitment behind it.
 

Marcia Wieder has helped thousands of people worldwide achieve their personal and professional dreams. To receive a free Jumpstart Your Dream kit, go to www.dreamcoach.com. Here you’ll also find info on Marcia’s programs and mydreamcircle.com