FACING FEAR
                                            TO MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE
                                                                By Marcia Wieder
 

                                                                                    When our first parents were
                                                                                    driven out of Paradise, Adam
                                                                                    is believed to have remarked
                                                                                    to Eve, “My dear, we live in
                                                                                    an age of transition.”
                                                                                                W.C. Inge
 

            Imagine that there’s a gift in your life, one that’s so obvious that every time it shows up it’s a direct sign that you’re on the right path to getting what you want.  Fear can be this gift, and this is how it works.
            Everyone’s life is about change.  Some­times you change, and some­times you change your life.  Often when you think you have everything figured out, something hap­pens and signifi­cant parts of your life are altered.  Some people fear change, some people resist change, and some people claim to thrive on it.
            Human beings seem devoted to consistency as a way of life.  Yet the only constant is change.  Therefore, what you fear may not revolve around what is being changed; what you call “fear” and associate with a negative belief, may be the body’s resis­tance to the act of chang­ing.
 

            You can learn whether you’re on the right path to where you want to be by facing fear and acknowledging it as a landmark for change.  That’s the gift.  If you were not moving away from your current identity, if you were not seeking to change your life, you would not be experiencing fear.
            Because we think of “change” as filled with murky unknowns, the ultimate fear may feel like death.  However, the experience is actually the old you dying away, and allowing you to be transformed.  When you get what you want, you will be able to release the part of you that was afraid of making your dream come true.  This is good news: shedding the pieces that no longer fit, so you can create a new dream to move toward.  Fear is actually a measure­ment tool; it means that you’re leaving the old behind; it’s a gift that indicates when you are close to your dream.
 

Empowering Yourself Out of Fear
            Fear can be seen as a healthy and natural mechanism, a sign of vitali­ty, and evidence that you are in process.  Sadly, unless you learn to use fear as empowerment, it can also stop your progress.
            First you need to distinguish fear that protects from fear that restricts.  When fear keeps you out of dark alleys at two o’clock in the morning, listen to your inner voice.  On the other hand, fear of change, fear of moving closer to a dream, or fear of something that you’ve al­ways wanted, is negative and limiting.
 

            Suppose you always wanted a little country home.  You’ve dreamed about the rooms, the yard, the picket fence.  One day you find your dream home and you think, “Omigod, now what?”  The thoughts that fly through your mind create fear, and you invent stories to justify why you’re afraid.
            “I just can’t give up my friends and move away.”
            “I’ll never sell my house.”
            “It’s too small or too large for me.”
            “The commute will be too far.”
            “No one will visit me out there.”
            “It was only a dream anyway.”
            Take a fresh look at the dream.  Start by closing your eyes and reconnecting with the dream house.  Assume there are no limiting circumstances like the ones listed above, and ask, “Is this the house of my dreams?”  If the answer is “No,” you can let it go.  If the answer is “Yes,” then you can go for it.
            Whether or not a given situation will conclude as you believe it will, all that matters is the meaning you give to the outcome.  Will a negative result mean that you’re a failure and that you shouldn’t go for your dream, or will you be able to accept the outcome, whatever it is?  Accepting the conse­quences, good or bad, will free you; take a risk, but be aware that things sometimes turn out differently than you expect­ed.  Facing your fear enables you to deal with it.  If one plan doesn’t work out, devel­op another; confronting your fear is empowering.

Thoughts and Feelings
            Attitudes and beliefs lead to thoughts and feel­ings, which in turn lead to decisions and choices.  If you want to become aware of your attitudes and beliefs, pay attention to what you’re thinking and feeling.
 

            If your dream is to establish a new career, but your belief is that it’s not possible, what do you think and feel about that?  Do you feel futility, and resigned to the idea that you can’t have your dream?  Or, do you think you can have what you want because you deserve it?
            For example, let’s say your dream is to be famous.  Specifically, you want USA Today to write an article about you, but you don’t believe it’s possible.  The logical sequence of your thought process might be that you don’t think it can happen so you decide not to pursue it.
            Now you have the same dream with a different belief.  You believe it’s possible to make your dream come true.  Your thought process is, “I think I can make this happen,” and “I think I know who can help me.”  Your new choice is to go for it.
            Simply changing your belief has shifted your internal conversation from thinking of your dream as impossible to seeing its possibilities.  This is an example of removing the obstacles in order to let extraordinary results–Magic–happen.
            You will find it easier to become aware of your thoughts and feelings when you are clear about your attitudes and beliefs.  It’s even possible, once you understand that you have a core belief, to go back and change it.  If you alter your beliefs, your thoughts and feelings will change, too.  Your changed thoughts and feelings, in turn, will motivate you to examine your decisions and choices.  What are the deci­sions you’re making in your life?  Are they positive choices that will move you toward your dream, or are your deci­sions just moving you away from things you don’t want?
            Perhaps your dream is to move from the east coast to Cali­fornia, but you fear that such a move would be too far away from your family.  That feeling may refer back to an attitude or belief that your family won’t love you if they don’t see you.  Is this belief real?  This is a good ques­tion to ask yourself about all your beliefs, because the truth is that beliefs are not real.  They are something we have created; and we have the power to recreate them at any time.
            You can change your attitude by adopting the belief that you can have friends all over the world.  The new outlook will help you understand that, wherever you’re living, family and friends will come to visit you, or you can visit them.  Thus, you have adopted a posi­tive feeling about yourself and your place in the world; then, if you decide that California is suitable to your needs, making the choice will be easy.
            Some people think it’s difficult to change a belief and some people think it’s easy; that’s just your belief about your beliefs.  If you have a belief that is getting in your way and is crying out to be changed, The Big Book of Your Beliefs exercise at the end of this article can help you do it.
            Your attitudes and beliefs can work to empower you or to frustrate you.  By confronting doubt and fear you will allow the Magic to show up.  Magic cannot live where doubt reigns.  You must believe–in yourself and in your dreams.  Then the Magic will come and you can make decisions and choices that support making your dreams come true.  When you let the Magic in, more Magic will come.

                                                        The Big Book of Your Beliefs
 

Place yourself in a quiet spot and relax.  Take sev­eral deep breaths and prepare yourself for the jour­ney into your mind.
 

            Imagine that you’re in the attic of your mind.  It’s filled with lots of dusty memories; your bicycle from when you were three, your mother’s wedding dress, old albums.
 

            As you walk through the attic you come to a corner.  In the corner there’s a beautiful pedestal on top of which is a big book.  On the cover of the book it says, “My Beliefs.”  Blow a little dust off of the book, open it and turn to a page where you have a belief that you want to change.
 

            See your belief on that page.  You can write on a pad of paper in front of you, or just picture it in your mind.  Whatever that old belief is, read it, and prepare to change it.
 

            Perhaps you believe it’s not possible to have what you want.  Read that belief from the page in the book, take a big, black magic marker and draw a huge “X” through it.  Then tear the page out of the book and burn it.  Get rid of that belief: cross it out, tear it out and burn it.  Feel the emotion of finally letting this old belief go.
 

            Now you’re left with a clean page in the book, because there was nothing behind the page you tore out.  Pick up a new magic marker in your favorite color and write your new belief.  Your new belief will corre­spond to the one you burned, but it will be stated positively and in the first person: “It is possible for me to have what I want.”  Consider adding the world “easily.”
 

            Write your new belief expressively and with flair, so that you really feel it, and you can internalize it.  After you’ve written it, read your new belief out loud to yourself.  Then close the book, leave the attic, and know that your new, positive attitude now lives in The Big Book of Your Beliefs.
 

            Do you believe you changed your belief?  Do you believe at least that it’s possible you changed it?  Or do you believe it can’t be that easy?  What if it is just that easy?  It’s all up to you.  You decide whether to believe or not.  That’s how beliefs work.
 

To receive a free Jumpstart Your Dream kit, go to www.dreamcoach.com. Here you’ll also find info on Marcia’s programs and mydreamcircle.com.